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Life With Demons

  📷(Image: Andrew McFarlane/Flickr)

     Sometimes life is confusing, it offers the best experience yet takes it all back. It demands change, it pushes us all around. That's the hard thing, yet its all part of our survival.

  Hi, I am Pushpa. I am 45 years old housewife and lives in the southern part of Odisha. I have everything as an ordinary person needs. A caring husband, two young children, supporting parents, a beautiful house and all the miscellaneous household stuff for a comfortable life.

  Some days ago, I woke up from my bed at around 2 AM and took a quick shower. I had to hurry while dressing up because my brother had called me. The very brother who stood with me throughout my ups and downs, who pushed me to move on whenever I got broke.

  I wore a traditional Sambalpuri saree which was presented to me by my brother a few months back. I was ready by 4 AM and thought of going out but lacked the necessary courage to go out in the darkness. I waited till 6 AM and tried to leave home by shutting the door slowly because I don't intend to wake my husband and son who are still in their deep sleep.

  But my husband woke with the door-sound and came to me hurriedly and clutched my hand while I am marching in the road. He did not let me move on and dragged me back towards my home. In a minute my son joined him and they both took me back to my home. I was slapped really hard by my husband and asked what am I doing?. "I am going near to my brother as he called me" I responded angrily.

  they told me that my brother had not called and it was a Hallucination. They told me that it was as a symptom of Impulsive-control-disorder (ICD). I phone called my brother with shock(who lives in another city) and he confirmed that he was not called her. That time I came to my senses and remembered that it was not the first time I experienced something weird like this.

  I have been behaving like this from the past 10 years. Eight years back, I was diagnosed with ICD and symptoms are diverse starting from hallucination to mood-swings, from fear to aggressive behaviour. In the last three years, I had almost shattered my family.

  I had avoided my meds fearing of death and got aggressive whoever insisted me to take, I had thrown our food many times in fear of contaminations, I had heard the voices which are not true but was so real to me. Whenever I come to senses, I feel sorry about everything I did but can do nothing but repeating weird things all over again.

  My immediate family, parents and brothers making huge efforts to help me get better. They are bearing from the past 8 years and assured me that they will stay by my side till eternity. I know that I will battle again with all those demons who made me tired yesterday yet I have to get up and fight with all my strength.


Thanks for reading :) Dive into my orger blogs 👇
👈  A Poem at A Quest For Love
👉 Google Local Guide at Google Local Guide
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